Since When is a Truck Not a Truck?



Wanna know what burns my butt? “A flame about this high,” (said holding my hand next to my waste). Yeah, it’s an old joke, sorry.

There is another issue that sticks in my craw though, one that continues to confuse me as I look through the past few months of auto stories I have read and run.

Since when is a truck not a truck?

How can you name a car-based crossover thing-a-ma-bob as Truck of the Year?

The newest Ford Explorer received this honor at the North American International Auto Show in January this year, an event held in the heart of Big Three territory. And the Big Three each produce trucks that equate to the most sales and, usually, the most profit for each.

So how does this discombobulated categorization occur?

Not to take anything away from the winner but it is based on a platform shared by the automaker’s flagship sedan and is destined to be a lazier employee in the motor pool than ever.

Next year we should just name this category “Mayor of Mamby-Pambyland.”

As trucks, real trucks, account for the majority of North American auto sales, let us get back to awarding trucks, real trucks, the honor of Truck of the Year.

Various regional organizations still hand out accolades in the appropriate divisions so why not the supposed patriarch of all shows?

Besides, dogs – working dogs – want to run side-to-side in the back of an open bed truck with their snouts held high in the air. They want to stand proudly with their front paws atop the wheel wells or demonstrate feats of balance while perched atop a tool box.

Do yourselves a favor, return truck of the year honors to a real truck, one that proudly hauls a load of pungent mulch or cooler filled with fresh-caught fish. Let us once again pay respect to the utility shed on wheels, the weekend furniture fetcher for friends, the local parade float puller.

These babies walk like a duck and quack like a duck so, yes, let’s call THEM ducks.

My pick for Truck of the Year? A few years back I was able to regularly ride the pasture amongst a small herd of mostly shorthorns (some of which were mine). The overall favorite (of the heifers and steers) was the King Ranch Ford F-150 and I still stand by their decision today.

Sure, each truck manufacturer tilts the facts and figures in their own favor in certain specific areas but at the end of the day I will take the Ford, with the new EcoBoost engine, in King Ranch trim.

Next time I will tell you where you got them shoes…


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